Techch Me Not!

Photo courtesy: freepik

I wish I had the money to afford all the vacations I take each year during Holi. Then I could have really taken a vacation. * Wink Wink *

Last year, I went to Mauritius. I think it was Europe the year before that. I’ve lost count of the exotic holidays I have taken over the years. Thank heavens for the dog-eared Lonely Planet on my bedside table. Each time I am at a loss for which spot to choose, I play book cricket and land on the perfect page .. erm .. I mean holiday spot.

The truth is, being AWOL is the perfect way to avoid the chaos that is Holi. I’ve hated the festival and everything it signifies from the time I was a child. The damp, the colours and the obnoxious revelers who just don’t take no for an answer. Bura Na Mano and all that.

This year, the dreadful Corona virus has helped keep the enthu cutlets at bay. But it’s more like being out of the frying pan into the fire. Though to be honest, Corona or no Corona, I’d slap anyone who breached the three feet distance rule on Holi day. I don’t play and that’s that. Besides, how can anyone bother you when you are away on holiday? There’s a lock on my door, if you don’t believe me.

My neighbour, Mrs M is really worried, unlike me. She loves playing Holi, dancing to the terrible remixes and drinking thandai till she’s out stone cold. But this year the Corona scare has put a damper on her plans. “Arre did you know about this new virus in town?” she tells me the other day over the phone. “Techch karne se daaeth ho jata haye,” she sighs. “Mr M has told me that we will not be playing this year. I’m just so sad yaar.”

I tell her to play online. Google has new Doodle and she can burst bubbles all day long on her computer. No techching and certainly no daaeth. She is not amused and disconnects the phone with a rude click.

As for me, at least this year I can save my money and put it where it’s worth - towards a real vacation that is. If I survive the virus.