Showing posts with label GurgaonDiaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GurgaonDiaries. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

Clubbing with the Gods



I was about to climb onto the exercise bike at my neighbourhood gym the other day when strains of a popular Indian devotional song began blaring from the loudspeakers. I stopped dead in my tracks thinking the gym manager, a brawny young lad with an abundance of gel in his hair, had somehow mixed up the tapes. I waited expectantly, one foot suspended in mid-air, for the usual peppy dance number to follow.  As if on cue, there was a rhythmic thump of an electronic beat and the devotional song had turned into a dance number. I looked around me in alarm. Was the gym hosting an flashmob satsang? Were we supposed to step off our machines and fold our hands in prayer? 

The others around me didn’t seem to be affected by this rather strange choice of music. The gym folks were on their machines or flexing their dumbbells, as usual. My neighbour Mrs M leaned over from the next bike and whispered with a smirk on her face. “Arrey, don’t look so shocked, babes. They are playing the new bhajan club mix.” Seeing the confused look on my face, she let out a shocked gasp. “Haven’t you heard of bhajan clubbing?”
 
Now it was my turn to look shocked. Bhajan Clubbing. Two words I never thought I'd hear clubbed together. But Mrs M proceeded to tell me, in between huffs and puffs, that bhajan clubbing is a thing. And judging by the crowds that turn up for the bhajan clubbing concerts at stadiums, a very big thing in this part of the world. Mrs M tells me that her friend’s housing colony hosts regular bhajan nights featuring live dhol, remix aarti, snacks included. She started attending them for the snacks initially but somewhere between the third “Radhe Radhe” remix and a catchy dhol beat, she felt something awaken inside her. She says it’s devotion. But I suspect it was her long-forgotten desire to become a dancer.
 
Almost overnight, Mrs M has become a nightlife enthusiast. She has a bhajan themed wardrobe. She’s ditched her sensible cotton suits and acquired an assortment of sequined dupattas reflecting divine light, jangly bangles to add to the percussion and a glittery pair of juttis that lights up when she stamps her feet during the chorus. Her friend circle has evolved too. No longer just kitty party companions, they are now her satsang squad. Mrs G is the lead vocalist, self-appointed of course. Her falsetto can shatter glass. Mrs V makes up the rhythm section with two spoons and a steel tiffin dabba. Mrs S is backup vocals and freestyle devotional choreography. Stay clear of her arms if you see her though. You could land up in hospital with grievous injuries. The colony also hires a DJ for the events – Devotional Jockey in case you were wondering.
 
Ever since my strange encounter at the gym, she’s invited me for various dos. Retro Bhajan Night, Bollywood Bhakti Fusion, Garba with God. The colony children are fascinated, she says with a giggle. “Your mom goes clubbing?” one kid asked her son recently. He shrugged. “Kind of. But instead of alcohol, they have Rooh Afza. And instead of ‘DJ Wale Babu,’ it’s ‘Bhagwan Wale Babu.’ 
 
I haven’t been a single of these clubbing nights yet. I’m still not convinced prayer and clubs go well together. But I’m tempted by the sound of the free snacks. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Five Ways to Find Love in Gurgaon



Remember that saying about the Universe conspiring to bring us something we
really want right when we need it?
 
Well, that’s hokum. I don’t believe in it at all.
 
If you really want something, you have to go out and get it yourself, not wait for the Universe to do its thing. Which is nothing.
 
So if your goals for this year include finding love and getting hitched, you need to get off that couch, switch off the telly and get busy.
 
Life isn’t a movie, even if you would love for it to be so. It’s certainly not the desi version of Serendipity where you bump into the love of your life at the neighbourhood kirana store while buying bread and eggs, fall in love, get separated and then miraculously reunite just before the end credits roll.
 
Real life is seldom like that.
 
So don’t bother wishing on stars or snowflakes and expect the love of your life to materialise in front of your eyes with a copy of Love in the Time of Cholera. It’s not that simple.
 
However, with a little bit of ingenuity, you could hunt down the chosen one and update the relationship status of your Facebook profile with a smug smile. No Universe required.
 
Curious to find out how? Here’s what it takes.
 
Join a Gym!
 
Gurgaon residents are very particular about the way they look. So you will find that your friendly-neighbourhood gym full of hot guys, girls and the occasional Aunty or Uncle (if that’s your thing). With all the happy chemicals in your body on overdrive mode (from all that exercising), there can only be good things in store. Plus, you end up looking like a million bucks. What’s not to love?
 
Start Running. You could talk too!
 
If being cooped up with strange, smelly people in a small room gives you the heebie-jeebies, do consider an open-air activity instead. Why not join a running group? Or a walking one, for that matter. Plenty of eligible men or women there. You could strike up a conversation while huffing and puffing your way to the finish line. Who knows where that could lead?                      
 
Hit the Malls!
 
There’s nothing quite like retail therapy. Especially when it gets you the man or
woman of your choice. Gurgaon’s fancy malls are teeming with fancy, young people and one of them may take a shine to you. The multiplexes, food courts, designer stores. Brawny young men and nubile nymphets. What are you waiting for? Get moving, you!
 
Get a tattoo!
 
Tinder is passe, get a tattoo instead. Who knows, your better half might be getting ready for the needle right this minute at a tattoo parlour somewhere in the Millennium City? Sparks flying over whirring needles? Forget the momentary pain and think about the stories you could tell your children.
 
Drink some coffee. Or Tea!
 
Tiring isn’t it? Hunting down the love of your life. Time you took a break for some coffee. Or tea, if that’s your potion. Walk into a Starbucks or a CafĂ© Coffee Day, find your corner, sink into that sofa and put your feet up. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” someone may ask you politely. Well, that’s your cue.
 
Live happily ever after and don’t thank me. Or the Universe.


(Originally written for the Juggernaut Books blog in 2017)