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| Cartoon by Paul Tarnowski |
The newspapers are full of stories about leopards straying into swanky condos or running off with cattle from cowsheds. Last month, a leopard even gatecrashed a wedding in Lucknow and snatched a gun from a police officer.
Still, it’s one thing to read a report or see a video on a device and quite another, to see an actual one standing next to you at a bus stop.
I felt as though someone had reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart in a vice like grip. I started sweating profusely and the sound of my heartbeats drowned out the peppy Bollywood number blaring on the auto driver’s phone. I could see the newspaper headline flash in front of my eyes – Gurgaon woman attacked by leopard outside metro station. I gulped and closed my eyes, waiting to cross over to the afterlife.
Moments passed but nothing happened. There was no commotion, no shrieks from frightened passersby, no police whistles for crowd control. Instead of the heavenly harpsichord I was expecting to hear, the loud Bollywood song droned on. I opened my eyes reluctantly. I was still inside the auto and the driver was staring at his phone. I didn’t seem to be dead or in any kind of physical discomfort.
I glanced towards the leopard cautiously only to find it cursing loudly in Hindi into an Android smartphone. That’s when it hit me. It wasn’t a leopard at all. Just a big woman wearing a leopard printed shirt and matching leggings. I heaved a sigh of relief and slumped back in my seat.
I’ve always considered animal prints to be a bold sartorial choice. Risky even. Especially in a place like Gurgaon where being mistaken for a leopard means the indignity of a tranquilizer shot in your rear or a stun gun to knock you out.
Unfortunately (or should I say fortunately) – lily-livered folks like me are a minority. Leopard prints (like leopards) are the flavour of the season. On fashion runways, designer store clothing racks as well as Gurgaon streets. Our Bollywood A-listers and self-styled local fashion influencers such as Shalini Passi have often been spotted sporting leopard printed garments and accessories. And now, Gurgaon’s friendly neighborhood aunty has jumped onto the leopard print bandwagon.
Just take a moment to think about the poor leopard. Not only are we taking over their spaces, we are taking the skin off their backs and robbing them of their identities. The famous Aravalli Leopard Trail (where one could spot a leopard or two if one was lucky) has become the venue for birthday parties and alcohol fuelled bashes accompanied by loud music and crowds. No wonder they are straying into our spaces and walking off with our livestock and ammunitions. The way things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised to find a leopard sitting on dharna outside the ZARA store at Ambience Mall demanding that the leopard prints be cancelled.
Note: the writer has poor eyesight.
